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What Sort Of Coach Do You Need Today?

October 23, 2009 by Kelly McCausey  
Filed under MM News

The Biggest Loser is back in action and I’m a devoted fan.  I tune in every week, looking forward to connecting with the contestant’s journey.   After watching the show for several years, like most Biggest Loser fans, I’ve really come to love the trainers, Bob and Jillian.

bob-jillianMost people I talk to have a favorite. Bob has a rep for being the ‘nice guy’ while Jillian is often described as being the tough one. I understand the comparison. Bob has a softer demeanor and seems to display more compassion for the contestants he trains, while Jillian is confrontational and direct with her advice and feedback.

It’s obvious some contestants feel like they need Bob’s softer side to thrive while others know they respond better to Jillian’s no nonsense attitude.

Despite different personalities, they’re both tough as nails and demand the most from their trainees.  Bob CAN be confrontational when he needs to be and Jillian CAN be compassionate when the situation calls for it.  In the end, they both get some pretty amazing results.

Thinking about Bob and Jillian, I can’t help but think about how we are all attracted to different kinds of teachers in other areas of our life.  Some teachers are gentle and encouraging.  Others are tough and unyielding.

It’s perfectly ok to choose teachers you feel most comfortable with.  We’re always going to feel drawn to some folks more than others.  Every now and then though, I think you can and should open yourself up to a teacher that puts you on the spot in an uncomfortable way.  How else will you break out of your comfort zones and grow?

Gentle isn’t automatically good and tough isn’t always bad.  What matters is that the teacher have the expertise you need and the heart felt desire and ability to impart it to you.

I’ve been blessed to be mentored and taught by amazing women in my lifetime.  There’s been a great mix of gentle and tough.  Gentle mentors encouraged me and built my self esteem while tough mentors called me up to the next level and equipped me with the tools and guts to get there.

What’s my point today?

Choose your teachers smartly.  Sometimes you need Bob and sometimes you need Jillian.  Don’t run from one or the other.  You need and deserve to be encouraged AND You need and deserve to be challenged.

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Comments

  • Great post! It really made me stop and think about what type of coach I need. And I definitely think with my melancholy personality that a 'Jillian' can sometimes have a negative effect on how I respond to them. But at the same time I also know that because of my personality oftentimes a 'Jillian', in your face butt kickin kind of coach is the one that will get me off my duff and into action! But there are definitely those times that I need a softer sided 'Bob' to encourage me.
  • Kelly Mccausey
    When a 'Jillian' comes at my strong, I can get stubborn and really resist what she's saying. But usually with a little time, I come around.
  • I definitely agree. I remember once when a very encouraging mentor of mine suddenly showed her firm side and flat out told me I was being negative about something. I was shocked. I never would have seen it that way if someone hadn't pointed it out to me. We do need mentors who can show us the error of our ways as well as those who just love and encourage us for our efforts. Sometimes, this can be one and the same person.
  • Kelly Mccausey
    I've been there! Spanked!
  • I do miles better with positive reinforcement rather than negative. Having got nothing but negative as a child - to the point where I was deliberately put in impossible situations, so I could be berated and ridiculed - "Jillians" tend to intimidate me into instantly losing any small shreds of confidence.

    But you're right, Kelly - Jillians really can help you break out of your "comfort zone" - which in my experience is usually what holds you back.

    One thing I do know for sure: Actually HAVING a coach is *essential* - especially if you have been trying to do things yourself but find yourself "stuck" at some level.

    Right now I've got the best of both worlds - my current coach is a wonderful mix of Bob and Jillian, and it's really working for me. :-)
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